


Sinner

by XxFandomTrashxX



Series: The Songs of Our Past Weigh a Heavy Toll On Our Future [2]
Category: Far Cry, Far Cry 5
Genre: Accidents Happen, Alternate Universe - No Eden's Gate Cult, Angst, Based on a song, Flashbacks, Happy Ending?, M/M, Minor or Major Character Suicide, Staci is a major character to me, Suicide, but you guys do you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 21:18:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17629868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxFandomTrashxX/pseuds/XxFandomTrashxX
Summary: Based on the lyrics (not meaning) of “Sinner” by Andy Grammer.~~~~~~Staci has a hard time coping with Jacob’s death.





	Sinner

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t read if you can be triggered by the following: Suicide, Violence, Suicidal Actions, Graphic Scenes.

   Staci sat on a rock by the side of the river, shoes removed and set up higher on the shore, he had his feet dangling over the edge, toes covered by the cold water. A shiver ran down his spine as the initial greeting by the cold water hitting his warm skin. He’d been fighting, fighting hard, it was tough, but he had good friends...

  _ **What** **about** **your** **friends?**_

They’d eventually get over it, living was hard, especially when death was so alluring, calling to you, no more pain, no more sorrow... that’s all he wanted, was the pain to go away...

  ** _Haven’t you all been through enough?_**

Maybe, Joey was friends with the Seeds, and Dusty was dating John, but they didn’t understand, they couldn’t unless the one they gave their heart to, trusting they didn’t break it, died.

~~~~~

  _Sitting at work, he was called to go to the Whitetails, apparently someone had gotten in a serious crash, and had died, he got Dusty and they went on their way. Upon arrival, Staci recognized the car, it was Jacob’s, the car had hit a tree head on, the scene was a bloodbath, his brain and parts of his shattered skull littering the dashboard and windows surrounding him, his face was destroyed. Even if Staci could make it out, it was tough with the fire roaring, burning, the smell of burning flesh and rubber filling his nostrils._

_He wouldn’t have even recognized him, had it not been for his clothes and car._

_His arms and torso were ripped up, glass shards dusting them, and he couldn’t see his legs, since the front of the car had come back, completely smashing them._

_He saw the scene, when Dusty realized who it was, he called backup and got Staci back in the car, turning on the radio while he waited for Sheriff Whitehorse and Joey to arrive._

_~~~~~_

 “I’ve done everything I could, even got on my knees, praying so hard, as if it was my fault, as if... I was a sinner... just like Joseph says we all are...” Staci said, knowing someone would hear him, he was a Christian, so he believed one of the members of the trinity would hear him, maybe, if he was lucky, Jacob could hear him _._ He grabbed a couple rocks and threw them in the river, in a feeble attempt to skip them, “Spoke to him, and he said that I needed to move past it, that God has a plan for all of us and this is just part of his great plan... I don’t think it is.. I... I’ve been on my own for almost a year now, save for when I go to work or go down to eat...” he looked up at the sky, “Dusty made me move in with him after the accident, I couldn’t go back home after that, couldn’t even come here until now...”

~~~~~

  _Jacob had grabbed his hand and pulled him out of one of the back doors of Eden’s Gate Church after the service was over, taking him to his car. They drove until they got near the river, Jacob parking up on top of a small hill a couple yards from the river. He got him out and they ran down the hill together, stripping to their underwear before jumping into the water, he and Jacob had been dating for two months now, and they still hadn’t shared any intimacies, so when he saw Jacob stripping, he got really excited, and he had the right to be._

_Being only seventeen at the time, they played in the water for a bit, splashing and swimming around, before going back to the shore, sitting on a rock together, they shared a towel as they watched the sun set, Jacob turned to face him, when Staci turned to look at him, Jacob pressed his lips to Staci’s, pulling a surprised gasp from the smaller man. It was the first time they had kissed, they pulled apart, just as the sun had fully set._

_~~~~~_

Staci smiled a little as he recalled that moment, “It feels like you’ve been gone way longer than you actually have, I’ve waited, hoping that my job or something else might’ve killed me, but, it’s the spring, I’ve waited since the end of last winter, when we held the funeral...”

~~~~~

  _It was a closed casket for obvious reasons, but not being able to see his face one last time hurt, he always had photos, but it wasn’t the same, he’d never get to sit on his lap again, or snuggle with him by the fireplace, they’d been planning on getting married the following summer and honeymooning in Las Vegas. He would give anything to see his smile one last time, to have one more hug from him, to hear him say something as simple as, “I love you,” just once more! ....but alas, it was gone, their futures, Staci’s hope, happiness, and love... gone in a fire of metal and flesh.._ _._

_~~~~~_

 “You helped me become a better man, shaped me to the expectations the media has for men... Made me a better human... you brought down the iron fist only when necessary, mainly using love and encouragement, making me loving and honest...” he fiddled with the engagement ring, “Always making plans, never had anytime for anything off schedule because of you...” he chuckled softly, “I honestly thought we’d die together, later on in life, maybe hunting, maybe peacefully in our sleep, but this had never crossed my mind, never this soon, I’m so lost, I can barely hold my own, now that you’re gone.”

~~~~~

  _Jacob had taken him out to go hiking in the Whitetails, they drove halfway up one of the smallest mountains, walking up the rest, Staci had packed them a nice lunch, having sandwiches, soup, and water. After getting to the top, they placed a large blanket down on the nice flat area Jacob had spotted. They ate and talked, looking over Hope County, after thirty minutes, Jacob got one one knee, it was sudden, a nice silence had settled between them before hand, but Staci still said yes, they had been dating for eight years, and Staci had been waiting for this day since the first year._

_~~~~~~_

“Heaven and Earth are close, right? I’m sure you can hear me... I personally don’t believe in ghosts, but it’d be nice to get to know if this is the right decision...” he silenced for a moment, looking around, seeing and hearing nothing besides sounds of the forest, he sighed and continued, “I’m sorry... I just thought that maybe you could help...” a sniffled as a tear fell from his eye, dripping down his cheek, “I should stop putting this off, I wanna see you again...”

  ** _Your friends need you._**

 **‘** No they don’t.’ He put a trembling hand on his gun.

**_They love you._ **

‘Not as much as I loved him.’ He pulls the gun out and holds it in his hands, looking it over.

**_They’ll miss you._ **

**‘** Ican’t do this any more.’ He pulls out his ammo and loads his pistol.

**_Don’t do this._ **

**‘** I’m tired.’ He takes a step off the rock, standing in the water, the water only reaching the top of his ankles.

**_Please._ **

**‘** Just let me finally rest...’ He cocks the gun, pulling it up beside his head.

  ** _Wait._**

 “Wait, for me...” he whimpers.

 A gunshot rings through the forest, the sound reverberating through the trees, followed by a splash, as his body falls into the water.

~~~~

 He wakes up, surrounded by white, a figure slowly comes into focus, helping him up when he comes to.

 When he realizes who’s infront of him, his eyes widen. Jacob presses his lips to Staci’s “I’ve been waiting for a year, and I would’ve waited for eternity... I love you more than you could ever know, Peaches...” he said softly, before leading Staci beyond the pearly white gates.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue why I did this, well, I do, but I don’t, but I did, so I hope you liked it at least a bit.
> 
> #SorryNotSorry
> 
> Edit~ 5-13-19  
>  I just realized while playing infamous mode that Staci is Catholic (?), as he was praying to Mary (The mother of Jesus) in the resist ending... well, fuck >:T


End file.
